The goodbye to Louise Dacosta, who climbed the trees up to 50 years

Writer died during the weekend, with 88 years. Funeral will take place on Tuesday in TANATORIO Matosinhos, where the body will lie from 15:00. In honor of a very particular literary universe, which in 2010 received the Award Virgil Ferreira, we return to work Valdemar Cruz published in Single magazine June 25, 2005, and entered in the series "What I taught Life." 

Born in Vila Real and dubbed it the Maria Luisa. He climbed the trees up to 50 years. Tuberculosis, who won at 20, took her to the meeting and writing to the invention of literary pseudonym. A cancer that exceeded the age of 65, strengthened his passion for teaching, the sap that gave him sustenance. Died over the weekend at age 88. The following text is written in first person.



I regret leaving this quite disillusioned life. For example, for the joy with which I celebrated the end of World War II, to think that never had wars, and that there had been solidarity, democracy and freedom for all. But no. We are in a world criminal in that 70 percent of the world population has no access to water, food, health, education. Above all, it bothers me go with the certainty that the most crushed of this world is a woman. That hurts me. The person leave here thinking that certain things that have never fought happen, and ultimately worsen. I never thought that women do to themselves bombs. It takes a terrible despair and no longer believe in anything, to do such a thing. This means that we have created a world that is immoral. There are some who think they have seen everything, they know it all, who already have everything, and there are others who go to scratching, to see are some seeds on earth. It's an atrocious thing. I have never been optimistic, but as pessimistic as now, either.

When I was born, the world barely existed outside of the globe and maps. There was no radio, no telephone, no television. I remember listening to the radio, but only when we have about six years. My father bought one, because he liked to hear opera. Sometimes it mingled with the evening prayers, because my aunt was much given to prayer. They were beautiful prayers, some in verse. Either would be suitable for little children, as the evening prayer: "In this bed I lie, do not know if I become a raise." It was the idea of ​​death, which also did not hide the children. When, in 1992, I was admitted to emergency in the Oncology Institute, the doctors did not know if they could put me right. For a long time I had the idea that he would die at age 40. I was very influenced by the portrait of a dead ever met:. My grandmother Ana I was a lot like her, according to all the people said. As a child, I became convinced that it was a resurrection. On the pretext that they asked me if I believed in reincarnation. Of course not. He had, even the notion of reincarnation. But fed the idea that I could be a second chance given to my grandmother because she had had an unhappy life and died tuberculosis at age 40. I had my tuberculosis at 20 and took the pass, because there was still enough medicine. There were many of my cousins ​​who died, including a cousin aged 18, who was with me in high school. She died and her brother. As I had tuberculosis after 20, I thought I might not pass the 40. When I was little playing much, almost to exhaustion, to see if I remembered the life he had lived. This was so strong in me, I wrote a book called The Unknown Planet and Romance of which I was before Me.

Now I begin to have the notion that perhaps the time is running out. It worries me to the extent that sometimes ask me if I want to fall to the side, because we still continue to go to some classes, as recently went to the Azores, where I caught pneumonia. I say that is exactly what I want: fall to the side. There is only one thing that terrifies me at the end: the wear of time that people sometimes have a bed. Still live alone, I still do my shopping, I still do my food. I make a fairly normal life. I do not want dependency. It costs me more accepting degradation than death. Addiction is a terrible thing. My mother was a person of great will. He broke both legs, was operated and recently became bedridden. I remember when I was washing, she cried. It must be a terrible thing. For an independent person like me, this is a humiliation that scares me.

I'm a little restless. One of the biggest disappointments I had was no longer climb trees. I climbed the trees until maybe after 50 years. It was not one to be very sossegadinha. The fact that live in the province had an advantage because, although at that time was not used, I always had a mixed education. In the province there are so small classes that could not be otherwise. In my seventh year I think we were only seven in Literature.

One of the things that cost me a lot was not able to walk with the bow. My cousins ​​were great races with the arches. In my time the girls were made to not do certain things. There was a recommendation from my aunt, who said that "when a whistle girl, shake heaven and earth."

From what I recall that my childhood is the prayers that my aunt forced us to pray. I have a great admiration for the figure of Christ, I find an extraordinary figure, very interesting. Usually religions are linked to political, but the figure of Christ is not. It is an independent figure of the social and the political. It is a purely spiritual doctrine. There is a great capacity for giving and forgiveness, which is what interests me most. The church does not interest me at all. The church, with Constantine, became a state religion, which is a crime. A state religion is an aberrant thing. I was very interested in some religious personalities such as Father Joaquim Alves Ribeiro, who died in exile and have not met but with whom wrote me until he died. The Church made him the exile called post mortem, which was used only in Russia. Not even brought to Portugal. Salazar was exiled in time and was in America. The state of the Vatican is an impossible thing. I have a great admiration for Pope John Paul II, that everyone admired very much. Had some positions that I find quite backward and, moreover, was an ambassador, which opened embassies. When was the Dili Timor not kissed the floor, because of diplomatic relations with Indonesia. Religion should only have to do with the spiritual aspects. If we read the Quran, there are a number of rules on how this is done, how do you do that. Are rules of civil things. It reminds me of people who do not want to change because they want to not lose rights. But the story is a loss of acquired rights. The kings before they could kill. A man could have slaves and today can not. Life evolves. So I think that religions should be separated from the social aspects and referred to the spiritual component.

Today there are plenty of complaints
I am a marginal and very marginalized writer because I always did what he wanted, and only what he wanted. Had independence. I knew you would starve if he lived only from books. She was a teacher, something that gives me great pleasure. It is a privileged form of human relationship. Even today I love to be with the students. Had children who have experienced extraordinary difficulties, but at some point I saw it was able to write for them. They helped me write. Include a few words in my vocabulary created by the students. Our language is amazing. I think we have a privileged language. It is a language that has two times. One for the time it takes, which is being, and a time to eternity, which is being. It is of the few languages ​​in the world that has it. Then we have something amazing, miraculous, which is able to conjugate the verb in person at infinity. Infinity is the verb out of space and time. I think it is the only language in the world that can get you the inside of me. When I say "I love thee", put the "you" and after that closes the verb. We have this amazing opportunity. Our language is mythological.

Today, for anyone, it is very difficult to write. There are plenty of complaints. Before, there was and had a name. They cut us an article in "Trade Port", but we had the "Vertex" or "Seara Nova". There were ways to stick a little. I am, by no means to defend other complaint. The problem is that today there is economic censorship, political censorship, party censorship, "lobbying" of interests. Belonged to the Press Council. I made two terms. I left there written that had long struggled against censorship de Oliveira Salazar, but it was. Immediately after the April 25 there were also many complaints in the newspapers. In this respect, I agree with Voltaire. Between censorship and censorship of many one, prefer the censorship of one. After all it is easier to stick to.

We need the human breath
I do not see me reformed. I was giving a lecture at the School of Psychology, Lisbon, and was told to come back next year. I replied that if you are alive, there'll be. Then someone told me that they knew what they were going to get there, but what about me? What was there to get? I replied that he knew what was going to get there. I'll get human breath, which is the only way to survive.

I had terrible days in my life. I buried a daughter on Christmas Day. Succumbed to cancer that I resisted. The most rewarding things I have ever had came from affection. For example, letters that had the students. The affection touches me a lot. The first lesson I gave the following have been admitted was one of the most exciting moments of my life.

Life has taught me that we can not live alone. It taught me that we can not live without human breath and we must do everything to fight for it.